I am yours!

I am yours
I’ve been yours for a while now
It took time for me to realize that this is true
Been hiding behind thick walls
Been afraid to show you I care
Been so used to playing with fools
That it’s taken some time for me to accept the caliber of man that stands before me
A man I can respect
A man that I can be proud of
A man that is dedicated and ambitious
A man that challenges me
A man that I give the reigns to
So I am saying it now
I am yours
I may play the tough role
But I am yours
I may act distant
But I am yours

When one gets use to the pain
It takes time to acknowledge the sweet sensation
When one is use to tears
It takes patience to notice the laughters and smiles

I am not perfect far from it
But I will try to be all you deserve me to be
Because I am yours!
And I apologize for all the fighting that was my own to simply accept that
I am yours!

A Dream Within A Dream by Edgar Allan Poe

Sometimes it seems that we work so hard and try so hard and no matter what we do it just slips within our grasp. On those days I remember this poem.
A Dream Within A Dream by Edgar Allan Poe
Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow–
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand–
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep–while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?

Time changes things

Time changes things
There was once a me
That was a daredevil
That would leap in a heartbeat
Without a thought or care
Driven to make things happen
Jump into projects
Open to all
Because somewhere there was a source of innocence
That believed that all would work itself out
That no matter how dark it seemed
Or how deep the hole
There was nothing I couldn’t do
Trusted and believed those that stood by me
Because my love was pure I expected the same
There was a place of all or nothing
No matter the consequence

But time changes things
It’s a constant double guessing
Your own shadow you question
Questioning the ability to judge characters and decisions
So separation is key
Because I am not the same that I use to be
The innocence is gone
The daredevil is gone
So here stands this driven women with desires to leap to run to jump
But the shackles of the past hinder me
Past failures past falls past cuts and bruises
One never truly heals
I just learned how to crawl til I walked again
I learned how to smile with tears running down my face
I learned that all that stand by me
Don’t want me to shine
So I keep them close
Because they remind me
Of all the times I have given and given some more
Because I don’t stand empty handed
And it’s taken some time
But the fear is now gone
I can’t call myself fearless
Yet there is no fear of the unknown
Because I have been there
I have scraped the bottom of the barrel

Time changes things
How nice it would be to talk to little old me
Forewarn of all the things to come

Time changes things
With laughter and tears
I still stand here
A little more cautious
A little less rebellious
But open to those that are true
True inspirations
True motivations
True characters
And everyday as I continue to stumble and pick myself up
I see traces of the old me
Me being me
Free and daring!

Religion

I don’t believe in religion
I did not say I don’t believe in God and his Holy word
What I said was I don’t believe in religion, man made groups designed to segregate those around them.
Quick to point the finger of what is right and wrong
I thought we are all taught that only God can judge us.
So who are you to tell me how bad I am or how my actions condemned to eternal damnation?
Who are you to harass me and bait me for your own pleasure?
Have you taken the time to read the Word that you claim you live by?
Before looking at me and judging me or making ideologies of what I should,
How about you take a second and review your life and everything in it…your faults and your sins.
If you did that, you wouldn’t have time to so much as breathe in my directions.
So many religions out here and blind fools following…
I believe in a higher being and attempt to be the best human being that I can be, I pray to right as many of my wrongs because I know I am not perfect and I was born a sinner.
Do on to others as you would like done to you…this rule comes in many variations depending on the “religion” that in which you follow but it’s a universal rule for all.
So many are quick to forget this when making assumptions in the name of God, when cursing you in the name of religion, when ostracizing you in means of changing you.
I don’t follow rules of men, I don’t follow rules of religion!
I am a spiritual being as are we all and pride myself in an open communication with Him each and everyday!
It’s not something which I need to flaunt to others it’s a relationship that is mine that is private.
It’s tiring that unless your living a public display of adoration then to some your saluting and glorifying erroneous teachings.
Some people don’t even understand the words they speak, don’t know the origins and meanings of the things they say.
I pray for light and clarity for all those that believe themselves to be of a higher spiritual realm then others not realizing that we all have demons in our closets that we all have our own crosses to carry that in a world so full of meaning many things are figurative!
I pray for forgiveness for all the stupidity and ignorance that spits out of your mouths in the name of God or Allah or any and all higher beings!
I pray for peace for those that are being castigated and feel prejudiced because they don’t follow the norm of what some call religion and in most parts are teachings of men!

My 3!

Young eyes and that window sill
Where all the kids played outside and I sat here
Where the world passed by and I sat here
I saw the time pass by
And my neighbors change
Saw the world change around me
But I just sat here
I wasn’t allowed to go outside
For fear of corruption and destruction
My mom always said you are who you spend time with
But the thing was I didn’t spend time with nobody
So who was I suppose to be
The mixture of the calypso and merengue sounds I heard thru my window sill?
The juncture of black and white that passed in front of my window sill?
The words of my many books that let me escape to an outside world I wasn’t allowed to visit?
I learned the words and learned the moves
Because I had no one else but me
But that window sill always called me
And in the middle of the night
At the first star that I would see
I would beg and plead for someone to play with me and He gave me three

Late Night Thoughts-Fear

Fear is a powerful thing
It can motivate you to move forward
Or hold you back from all the wonderful things you can imagine but somehow can’t accept into reality
Fear of the unknown
Fear of the reality

We get used to so much pain
We get used to living without
We get used to living with the bare essentials

Suddenly all the hard work all the hustle and bustle all the rights and wrongs
Lead you to the one place where you always imagined to be
And yet the one thing that holds you back, has you running in circles
Is fear!!!