Growing up…nope! 

All this time rushing To be here in this place 

Being called a grown up 

And words as maturity and responsibilities 

Are constantly thrown around 

If I had known that this is what growing up consistent of 

I would have made sure to scrap my knees a few more time 

Climbed a few more trees every chance I got 

Dance a little longer 

Laughed a little harder 

Because all this wishing and praying to be an adult 

For what? 

To add on the struggles of those who raised me 

Nope I am good 

Let me be 5 and read about picture books and eat some ice cream and watch some cartoons 

A place where responsibility was washing my face and eating my dinner 

RAndom thoughts 

Maybe I am just a little different Maybe caring for others and their feelings is just too much to ask 

Too much to ask to consider others and how things may affect them 

Maybe I care too much 

Maybe I don’t care enough 

Maybe it’s the idea of expecting things to fall into place 

But which one is the wrong one expecting or that things fall into place 

It’s the thin line between being a sucker and being positive I guess! 

Maybe changing is the one thing that needs to happen because this being me thing doesn’t seem to be working out! 

Blank screen 

Head spinning Brain throbbing 

It seems like the memories spin into real life movies 

Where every emotion replays 

Constantly from a different angle 

The tears keep burning my face as they sneak down my cheeks 

No one around 

Cause the walls are up 

All everyone sees are the colorful masks you’ve come up with 

Lipsticks and mascaras and all those silly things 

Dressed up to the tee so no one can see the pain 

When it all seems to fade 

A blank screen to be filled with nothing but whatever I desire 

A screen full of hopes and dreams 

Where the past won’t haunt me no more 


In search for happy I found a path full of tears and pains 

A path no one speaks of 

Because happy is not a bubble gum filled rainbow 

but a desolate road filled with strange sounds

Tested and tried is happy 

That is only shared with the rare and few 

For happy is a word known to all but rarely ever seen 

With tear stricken faces I smile and feel my heart filled with happy 

Random thoughts of love, loyalty and friends

We live in a web of lies that we continue to tell ourselves Where simple words have no meaning 

Love, loyalty and friends don’t mean the same thing they use to mean 

The childhood veil has lifted 

Intoxicated from the reality 

I believed in fairytales but forgot how grotesque they really are not the Disney version that we all have become so accustomed to 

It all leaves a trail of bloodshed tears that others don’t seem to notice 

It hardens the heart 

And you dig to feel something other than pain and indifference where there once was as care and sensitivity 

The influx of memories that play and replay and make it so hard for that cozy feeling to ever come back 

Wondering what you ever believed in

Empty Spaces 

In the symphonies of words Said by the people that surround me 

I find empty spaces And ticking time bombs 

Moments filled with Pandora boxes 

Enticing beats to stray your focus 

Words so intoxicating that they seem reality 

But it’s all fools gold 

Scheming to make you take the wrong path 

The path that your soul knows doesn’t belong 

Oooooo these promises of nothing but chaos 

Keeping me away from the goals set on stoke with my name on it 


A million thoughts running thru my had Plans, memories all intertwined

Trying to be the best that I can possibly be 

Paving ways to what tomorrow has for me 

The ideas that over take my head 

The mistakes that make me take pause 

In a different place than I was yesterday but somehow the dreams remain the same 

How will I get to the place where I have always seen myself 

The aesthetics change but the goal remains the same 

Visions and visions of tomorrow have played for years in this head of mine 

Sometimes it feels so close 

And at times so far

Dreams that survive from heartache from fear from pain 

Dreams become chameleons attached to the soul of a little girl that was content with so little 

A little with big dreams that didn’t belong to the time and place 

Fast forward to the woman before you with the same big dreams