Shadows

Clock keeps ticking
The days keep rolling
And suddenly for one instant
Rewind is in full effect
The tears are rolling
The heart is aching
The soul is hurting
With shadows of yesterday
Everyone is moving forward
But your stuck in this in between
And not because you wish to be there
More like you ran from it for so long
Like a nightmare it haunts you
It haunts your happy moments
Haunts your laughter
And suddenly your back
And no one notices
That for a second you panicked
For a second your memories were reality
And you push forward to what may be
To all those things you thought could never be

Late Night Ramblings-Children

Children are not pawns to used against another parent or to get a check!
Children are meant to be loved and cared for, they are our future. Yeah it sounds cliche and all but it’s the truth.
He or she is your impact in the world whether it’s good or bad, you had a hand in that. Children don’t choose to come into the world you choose that. And when that choice is made, you become responsible for caring, for teaching, for loving, for molding them.
To be clear when I say choice I am not speaking of the choice of having abortions or not because that’s a mother conversation of it’s own.
As responsible adults, one must know that having sex, sexual relations, intercourse, making love…however you choose to call it…may result in having a child. This is something you know and if don’t know this than maybe just maybe you shouldn’t be participating in this act. This is why so many forms of birth control are available!!!!
Anyways I regress!
Children are not a ticket meal as so many seem to see them. It takes time and effort to mold these little human beings into successful, smart, caring individuals. Too many children are in the system for lack of common sense of so called parents. Children craving attention craving some love. It’s sad ITS PITIFUL. Meanwhile you have people that would give anything to have a child and can’t!
It breaks my heart and hurts my soul to see so many children mistreated, abused and simply put not loved.
It’s not their fault!

These Four Walls

Me and these four walls
We have built a bond like no other
I have cried and laughed
I have screamed and danced
In these four walls
I prayed for clarity
I have begged for forgiveness
In these four walls
I have lost my faith
I have gained my confidence
In these four walls
I know it’s me against the world
I am clear where my bearings lie
In these four walls
I can mourn the loss of a friend
I can celebrate the desire of a lover
In these four walls
No one is quick to judge
No one is quick to assume
In these four walls
I am a friend
I am a foe
In these four walls
Dreams are spoken
Nightmares are released in tears
In these four walls
I am reminded that I am a soldier
Battling against my own demons
And that of others
In these four walls
I am taught that my shield is invisible and invincible
I am lost with hope of tomorrow
I am haunted with yesterdays
In these four walls
I can be
Just be …
In these four walls
I can listen to silence while it speaks to me

Just When

Right when I choose to stretch out my hand,
You choose to let go
And the walls that had crumbled
Suddenly found their way up again.
And the scars that seemed to disappear,
Now burned with roots so deep!

I lay here thinking of the could haves and have nots…
Caught in between hurt and anger,
Emotions felt towards none other than myself
For allowing myself to believe, to want, to care…
Hope is a dreadful poison that can sway us all
Desire is a blinding side effect.

Guards not built by insecurities but of realities and truths…
Always good enough for one thing but not for another
Always great at this but never great at that.

Just as I reached out…I remembered why I shouldn’t have!

Circle of You

It’s the wheel of fortune
This thing we do everyday
A Russian roulette of luck
Handed to us at birth
We fill the blank pages
As we go along
Seconds minutes hours
Twined by our decisions
By our waking thoughts
Propelled by our desires and fears
Constantly changing
Evolving to the person
The character we are to be
For karma teaches lessons
Righting the wrongs
Until you become
The best version of you!

Found myself!

I find myself in the drums played by my ancestors in virgin lands of sand and sun so long ago

I find myself in smiles of children all over the world

I find myself in hieroglyphics found in the caves of seas somewhere in the east

I find myself in rice valleys worked by peasants and thieves

I find myself in laws of bureaucrats spread in all directions like feathers in the wind

I find myself in structures and buildings made of blood, sweat and tears with fingerprints of pain

I find myself in words written in the air and in papyrus leaves

I am a force to be reckoned with because I am…
I have travelled in the world with my eyes closed
I have learned lessons from my ancestors and from strangers within
I have danced and sung with beasts of all natures
I have talked the talk and walked the walk with pain in my back and tears on my face
I have freed myself from invisible shackles created by imprisoned men
I have embraced the layers of human that can be
I have painted my soul in all colors shades and creeds
Because I am…everything that I have found in memories and pages written in sprinkles of spirit
Just because I found myself!