I wrote this manual a long time ago
Of do’s and don’ts
of could and could nots
Ridiculous rules to protect myself from the world
And while everybody saw this carefree and strong person before them
no one ever noticed the tortured spirit
Soon becoming a rebel without a cause, pushing limits for the sake of the push, inflicting pain for all the hurting inside
But all everyone saw was the anger and the carelessness
Never hearing the cry for help in every action
Rules that became so embedded that became unbreakable bad habits, a game of push and pull.
After so long, I sit here reading my own manual…asking myself what a fucked up rule book and why would anyone follow it?
Instructions created by actions of clowns, jokers and pitiful fools
Believed by a lost child, by a hurt adult
Who never truly grasped the strength in her own being
Who never accepted what it meant to be loved
Who never embraced the satisfaction of just being
So today I burn away the pages of my deceitful manual
And refuse to create a new one because I am a rebel but with a cause
A rebel for all those beautiful things life has to offer
For all those moments felt with the heart without a need to feel scared
For all those caressing words whispered in the wind
Today I am free!