Random thoughts-Being a lady

I was raised by a single mother who had to work hard to take care of my sisters and I
But she would always “complain” about how easier it would be if a man was around and somehow my sister(s) and I developed this sense of independence, of no we got it we don’t need anybody that doesn’t want to be here…we handled the finances and the building (my sister did a lot of hammering and screwing and measuring) and carrying heavy items and defending and protecting and hiding when it hurt the most because we could take care of ourselves and help mami.
The strength and independence that it all created also hindered us.
I am a feminist…or am I?
I use to believe that men and women were equal, the reality is that no we are not! We will never be! No matter how strong how smart how independent!
Lol it took a long time for me to accept that!
I remember being 18 and wanting to join the military and wanting to be the next G.I.Jane! I wish I could have a convo with Casilda version 18, the things I would tell her.
It’s great being an independent female who can take care of herself but when all you know is “I got it” it’s hard to open up to people and let them see more than the superficial “your being a girl” moments because it’s deeper than the he said she said because you know damn well that you have to take care of business with tear stricken cheeks, ruby red lips and pretty pretty heels on.
I understand my mother now.
She wasn’t “complaining” about getting things done.
She was complaining of having a man by her side who handled his.
A man doesn’t need to fix things or make it all better, it’s about having someone on your side that when the world says you can’t, he can just you got this. Nothing more nothing less. Because you do!
It’s allowing a man to be a man!
To protect his even though he knows damn well you can protect yourself but won’t let you!
Cause he knows he needs someone to have his back just as much as you do!
And no it’s not about being needy because realistically can we all live on, on our own absolutely!
You can pay someone to put your AC up on the window or build you some shelves or check your car for you or you can do all by yourself or vent with friends but there is nothing like having someone you truly open up to into those dark little corners that your too scared to share with the world and you know that even when they are disappointed, they are going to be right by your side.
Oh Sweetheart let a man treat you like a lady and treat you…to dinner to ice cream to a flower! You deserve it because you are a lady!!!
I would be a millionaire for all the times I heard, “when a man gives you something he expects something” lol
Already filling a young brain with doubts and deceit!
A man will only go as far as you let him! And yes there are many exceptions to the rule but why treat men like a pack? Do we expect to get treated the same as the rest?
While always waiting for the next shoe to drop, eventually it will!
So while being independent and strong and carefree, one must also be a lady …carry yourself as such!
I am not saying that lipsticks and nail polishes would be your new found passion, love what you do whatever it is you do be pretty in pink or in a hoodie and sweatpants but be vulnerable and caring and open while being strong and smart and independent!

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