Midnight Ramblings- home

I love doing spontaneous out of the blue things
But I always need structure in my life
It’s as if I can go as far as want but I know that I always have home the same old home I have always had
I hate feeling trapped and boxed in
But I love knowing that when I need it, it’s right there
I finally understood what a close friend of mine said to me not long ago ….
She said you always go on on your adventures and hang out with different people and try all sorts of things but you always come back
I laughed and didn’t really understand what that meant at the time
My curiosity makes me want to take it all in all at once
My impulsiveness pushes me to jump head in
My sheer excitement allows me to enjoy it all
I want to learn everything
I want conquer everything
I want to see
I want to feel
I want explore
And sometimes for some reason I get all these fulfilled by people watching …lol it makes me sound like a stalker but it’s like riding the trains you hear conversations you see different people you watch you learn behaviors and patterns
In being able to fill that contradictory part of me I must experience the world but I always need my comfort zone …
My structure my pillar that I am free to just be me, all sides of me no judgement no fear.
Change can’t be forced on me because as much as I love different and out of the blue, I don’t like surprises!
I need structure and stability in order to roam free …I need to always be able to come home!

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