MidnightRambling-Blast from the Past

Nights like tonight,
Where my past seems to be in every step I take
Where faces that were so long ago
Suddenly appear out of the blue
Full of questions and pleasantries,
I remember to take a deep breath
And I am forced to rapidly relive hurtful moments splashed with tid bits of happy
I am forced to fake a smile
While my mind races
Because no one knows the dark corners of hell I once visited
The shattered pieces that I tried to put together,
But the pieces that never fit like it once did
Because even though my name remains my name and my face remains my face,
I am not who I was a lifetime ago
Innocence no longer exists
Walls were built and fortified
But within the seconds that seem a lifetime
I manage a hello and good bye…
No more words than that
Because finally the scars created by the bullshit and lies have slowly been healing,
And in a million lifetimes going backwards is not an option!
Because the same person that you “say” you miss
I miss as well but she doesn’t exist anymore!
I am not her!
Good Bye!

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