Late night thoughts –running from the past 

It’s feels like I am on a fast train to the past, a past filled with pain and confusion , a past a ran from as soon as I could.

The past that shaped these deep and dark insecurities that I hide every chance I get. 

It’s as if I torture myself by being in this place in this time reliving moments that broke me that shattered me when no one was there to help me 

I had to learn how to crawl thru the shattered glass that was my soul, bandage up the pieces that I could to attempt to make a run from it and save myself 

They say you have to face your past and push thru it so that you can let it go and I wonder if this is what I am doing now? Living thru this moment, pushing thru the tears and this insane urge to just run as far away as possible!! 

I can’t shake this feeling! 

I can’t shake this feeling This insane feeling of being trapped 

Trapped in an invisible box 

A box filled with lies, 

Insecurities, 

Darkness, 

Hopelessness 

Every turn covered in traumatic emotions 

Crippling experiences 
And we fake bubble gum dreams 

And we fake fairy tales that we continuously tell 

And for every rainbow 

There were blood, sweat and tears 
Death filled days 

That succumb our every emotion 

That shatter our glitter filled stories 
So how can I shake this feeling of doom?